#18 Strength in Community: You Don’t Have to Face Your Pain Alone

This morning, I felt a heavy weight on my shoulders, accompanied by some uncomfortable emotions. I’m not entirely sure why it happened, but it does occasionally. Perhaps it started yesterday. I sat with my daughter on a gloomy day at the graveside of her husband, as the cemetery had called to say the headstone plaque had finally been installed.

As I sat next to her, the moment hit me deeply. Watching tears trickle down her cheeks, I began to feel some of her pain acutely. It could have been her sadness that struck me, but it could have been other things too. Perhaps it was years of carrying my own pain, coupled with the sudden reminder this moment brought. Maybe it was a combination of those things, along with the deeply personal stories I've been hearing recently through my work at Resilient Souls. Regardless, I fought back tears myself as we sat there together.

Finding Strength from Comfort and Encouragement

I didn’t feel like it this morning, but I decided to listen to a daily reflection on an app I use most days. In this episode, the host invited listeners to pay attention to any phrase from the Bible reading that stood out. As usual, my mind raced and I got distracted, but one phrase caught my attention: 'He comforts me.' I tried to focus on those words because I knew they were exactly what I needed this morning. When I looked up the word 'comfort,' I discovered that it’s about helping to strengthen someone. That’s precisely what my daughter, myself, and everyone I meet through Resilient Souls needs: strength through comfort and encouragement.

I’d previously learnt that encouragement isn’t just about cheering someone on from the sidelines. It’s about coming alongside them and giving them the courage to keep going on their journey, in whatever form this takes. Comfort is similar—it’s about providing strength, reinforcement (that there is hope, that they will get through, that they are not alone etc), and fortitude (courage in pain or adversity) to someone who feels like they’re breaking.

The Power of Encouragement and Support

I wrote in my journal that comfort and encouragement must be more than just words or ideas. To be really useful, they need to help lift the weight of the burden people are carrying. It’s about putting an arm around someone who feels alone, sitting with them in their pain, and offering some respite, a listening ear, or practical support.

We can’t fix the problems or completely alleviate the weight someone is carrying, but we can help share the burden. Even if it’s only for a short time, we can take on some of the load. And when we need to step away, hopefully someone else will step in and help out. That’s what real community does to help provide comfort and strength.

Building a Supportive Community

These thoughts came on top of a recent podcast conversation I had about the role community can play in supporting others during their storm, loss, or confusion. There are things we can do to bring comfort and encouragement, steps we can take to help someone in our community who is feeling things deeply—both in the short term and in the long term.

I’m no expert, but I speak from experience. What has helped me on my journey is real encouragement and authentic comfort. When someone sat with me or walked alongside me, even for a little while, it helped. I didn’t always know how to express what I was going through or what I needed, but they somehow knew just to be there. They gave me courage, adding strength when I was faltering under the load. They might have helped me see that I could get through, despite how hard the road ahead seemed. They may have told me they’d always be there for me and then they stayed on the journey for the long haul. I can’t remember exactly what those people said or did, but I know they they gave me courage in my storm.

They strengthened me by stepping close and shouldering some of the burden—helping with my kids, supporting me financially, inviting me out to dinner. They made the weight I was carrying just a little bit lighter. That was comfort. It fortified me when I felt weak and in pain.

Turning to God for Strength and Comfort

I’m still experiencing emotion as I write this morning. I’m not sure why, but it’s there. I desperately want someone to knock on my door and carry some of it for me. I’d love for someone to listen to me, even though I don’t know what words I’d use. And so, because of my beliefs, I turn to God. I don’t need to wait for Him to knock on the door to turn up. He’s here. He promises He’ll always be here. He said He will be the God of all comfort and he’ll come alongside to encourage me. I believe Him. So, I handed over the burden I was feeling this morning. I trusted He would go with me into my day regardless of how I was feeling, so I thanked Him for His presence and comfort, and I got on with my day. I wrote some of this in my journal and ended with these words of prayer: “My life is Yours. My days are Yours. Today is Yours. Amen.”

Practical Ways to Offer Comfort and Encouragement

What do you need today? Comfort and encouragement, or the opportunity to give these to someone in your community who’s hurting? If it’s the latter, perhaps try moving beyond just sending words through a text or telling them you’re thinking about them. Work out how to come alongside them and help lift some of their load. Drop in with a gift, a cup of coffee, or just some of your time. Sit with them for a while and do what you can to add to their strength, help build some hope, or just be present.

This is the sort of thing that can contribute to the strength they may need today as they feel the weight of their emotions deeply. If it’s you that needs comfort, reach out to someone you know cares and tell them how you're feeling. On top of this, may I suggest you turn to God—whether you know Him yet or not? He’s helping me right now, and I know He can help you too. Sometimes, the help He brings is to prompt someone to pop by and ask if they can help share the burden you’re feeling in your storm. You don’t need to carry this all on your own. This is true comfort.

Question/s to reflect on:

1. When have you felt the weight of your burdens lifted by the comfort and support of others, and how can you extend that same comfort to someone in your community today?

2. In what ways do you seek comfort and strength during difficult times, and how might you invite others—or even God—into that space to share your burdens?

From Reflection to Action: (These are just suggestions – maybe choose 1 or 2 to try)

1. Invite someone for a walk or a coffee to offer them a listening ear. If someone in your community seems burdened, take the initiative to spend time with them. A simple walk or coffee can provide the space they need to share what’s on their heart, and your presence alone can be a great source of comfort.

2. Dedicate time each week to reach out to someone who might be struggling. Whether through a phone call, a quick visit, or even a letter, regularly check in on those who might need support. Consistency can make a huge difference in someone’s life.

3. Offer practical help with everyday tasks. If you know someone who’s overwhelmed, offer to help with something specific, like grocery shopping, babysitting, or running an errand. These small acts of service can significantly ease their burden.

4. Create a ‘Gift Box' to share with someone in need. Create a gift box with small thoughtful gifts like a comforting book, a handwritten note, a candle, chocolate or something else that makes people feel like you have thought of them whether you get to sit with them or not.

5. Host a small gathering to encouragement community togetherness. Whether it’s a potluck dinner, a prayer group, or a simple get-together, creating a space where people can get to know each other better, share their stories and support one another can be a powerful way to build a resilient community.

6. Tune into Encouraging Podcasts: Help build your resilience with stories from the Resilient Souls podcast and check out this one in particular for more encouragement.

Bible verses about finding comfort when your burdens feel heavy.

1. Galatians 6:2 (NIV): "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."

2. Psalm 55:22 (NLT): "Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you.”

3. Matthew 11:28-30 (The Message): " Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly."

4. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV): "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God."

5. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (ESV): "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."

SIGN UP to become part of the Resilient Souls community and be informed when new podcasts or blogs are posted.